What It’s Like to Cry A Lot and Tear Up at Things You Shouldn’t Tear Up At

I have always been an emotional person.

My mum likes to say “Creative people feel things more deeply.”

I like to say “Bipolar disorder makes people feel things more deeply.”

Either way, the point is the same; I have serious emotional reactions to everything. I cry when I’m sad, I cry when I’m mad, I cry when I’m frustrated, I cry when I’m happy, I cry for no reason. This is both a blessing and a curse.

First, the cons of crying a lot:

  • I constantly feel vulnerable and afraid, because I know the smallest thing could start the stream of tears
  • I am nervous to watch movies with people because there is a 99.999% chance I will cry.  There is no such thing as a pretty crier.
  • When I am frustrated I cry, which makes me even more frustrated.
  • I am afraid that my emotionalness is annoying to my friends.
  • Sometimes I start crying and I can’t figure out why.
  • My Grandmother was very religious and went to church pretty much every week of her life. My parents did not raise me religious. Recently I have been participating in more church activities because I am part of a super cool youth group that a few of my friends introduced me to. I have never gone to church without crying.
  • Sometimes I am so affected by a movie or book that the day after I read/watch it I can’t function properly and break into random bursts of crying.
  • There are plenty more but I don’t really feel like writing it all


Now the pros:

  • I am able to better understand other people when they are crying.
  • After an incident in church where a friend of a friend had to pass me tissues (that for some reason he just happened to have), I have become better at being prepared for similar situations.
  • Tears are apparently really good for one’s skin.
  • If needed, I could probably cry on command in an emergency situation.
  • Apparently, crying reduces blood pressure.
  • Crying means I’m human


As I’m sure you can see, there are more cons than pros.

I mentioned before and in the title of this post that I also tear up at things I shouldn’t tear up.

  • When it’s cold out, my eyes water like crazy. I am aware that this happens to most people, however, it’s usually just a few little drops for other people. I end up with tears just streaming down my face. It’s pretty intense.
  • Bright lights make my eyes tear up. Car headlights coming toward me at night, flashlights pointed at me, turning the light to the bathroom in the middle of the night. You get the gist.
  • Loud noises. A heavy door slamming, a car honking, concerts.
  • Wind/breeze/light movement of air


Obviously, there is no way I can actually make you feel what it’s like to cry a lot or have really teary eyes, but I can at least try to explain it. I hope this post helped you understand a little better (especially if you’re someone who doesn’t cry a lot.)



The Ancient Mayan Civilization


P.S. Sorry this post is so late. I’m trying very hard to keep on schedule.



A Rushed Post You Probably Shouldn’t Read

I am sat on my bed typing this as fast as I can because it’s a day late. I set up a plan when I started this blog and promised myself I would post once a week. I decided it would be better to post something just okay than not post anything at all.

Actually, I’m doing better on this blog than my other one. I just posted on that one and I usually post on Tuesdays. It’s Saturday. I hope my zero readers don’t mind.

I spent a bit of time last night looking into Instagram. I might want to make a new account just to see how well I can do. It seems fun and I’d like a new photography challenge.

I have so much make-up work for school right now. I have an entire essay in English about The Great Gatsby, and endless assignments from History class. Geometry is easy for me, so I should be able to get that done, but bio seems impossible.

I got two new necklaces in the mail yesterday. One is a Golden Snitch locket from Harry Potter. It is honestly one of the most amazing necklaces I have ever seen. The other one is a Moon and Star one that I essentially bought for the little description it had.

Physically I am here, mentally I am in a galaxy far, far away.

I thought that was pretty cool and relatable.

I got a new book out of the library on Wednesday. It’s called UnWholly and it’s the second book in a trilogy that includes one of my favorite books, Unwind by Neal Shusterman. I HIGHLY recommend that book, and most likely the rest of the series, depending on whether they’re as good as the first.

Sorry about this post being so rushed/short/random



The Ancient Mayan Civilization

English Project pt.2 : A Surprise From the Sea

After I finished the other story (The Secret Goldfish), I decided to write another one, just for fun. Here it is:


 A Surprise From the Sea

In a small fishing town just north of Portland Maine, there was a large family that lived right by the sea. They lived so close to the sea that when the weather got really bad, they had to close all the windows and doors so that water wouldn’t come into their house. The mother, grandmother, and two of the daughters stayed at home cooking while the father, grandfather, three sons, and the oldest daughter went out fishing. They had lobster traps all up and down the coast and needed to check them every day. The father and two of the sons went in one boat, while the grandfather, the oldest son, and the oldest daughter went in the other boat.

Every day, they brought back many lobsters and went into the town to sell them. Sometimes, they also brought in fish. Although there were many other fishermen selling their lobsters, the family did well and always had enough money to live on.

On one chilly Saturday morning in October, the oldest daughter and the oldest son went out without the grandfather, who was not feeling well. The two children set off in their boat, each with a packed lunch made especially for them by their mother.

About a half hour later, they arrived at the first buoy marking a lobster trap. The girl, whose name was Tarah, let down the boat’s anchor while the boy, whose name was Noah, started pulling up the trap from the ocean floor. When he had pulled it up all the way, Tarah helped him haul it in over the edge of the boat. Together they opened the trap, dumped out the lobsters that were inside the trap, re-baited the trap, then threw the trap back into the water. Tarah pulled the anchor up while Noah started the boat’s engine, and they rode off to the next buoy. They repeated this process until about twelve o’clock when they took a break for lunch. Noah had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and Tarah had ham and cheese.

After lunch, they resumed their routine. They had gotten so much practice with the lobster traps that it took them no more than five minutes to get the lobsters up into the boat, then send the trap back down again. They had only gone through two traps when Noah told Tarah that he felt sick and needed to sit down for a few minutes. Tarah continued with the job, and although it was much slower alone, she still managed to get several done before her brother felt better.

About twenty minutes later, Noah was still lying down when he heard Tarah calling him from the back of the boat. She sounded nervous so he got up quickly and rushed back to her. In her hands, she was holding a lobster. But it was no ordinary lobster. It was huge, about twice the size of the average ones they picked up, and instead of being a reddish brown color, it seemed to be holographic. “What should we do with it?” Tarah wondered, adjusting her grip on the lobster so that it was facing her. Noah shook his head in amazement and said nothing. The two of them stood staring at the lobster for several minutes, the waves gently rocking the small boat.

“We should put it back.” Tarah decided. Noah shook his head, “No. Can you imagine how much money we could make from this? Everyone would want to see a rainbow lobster.” Tarah rolled her eyes, “Noah, not everything is about money. Besides, we’d probably get some sort of curse if we kept it.” She turned toward the ocean and leaned over the side of the boat to gently put the lobster back. They watched as it slowly sunk into the dark water, its shell reflecting the light from the sun almost all the way down to the bottom.

“I half expected it to start talking,” Noah admitted, breaking the silence. It was much later, and they were headed home. Neither of them had said anything since putting the lobster back, besides the occasional “look out!” from Noah as he tossed the traps back into the water. “Yeah, me too,” Tarah said, laughing. “Let’s not tell anyone about this.” Noah decided, steering the boat toward the shore. Tarah nodded in agreement.

When they reached the rocky beach, both of them hopped out of the boat and dragged it to the mooring buoy. Noah tied the boat to the buoy, then helped Tarah carry the large bucket full of lobsters up to the house, where the smell of freshly baked bread and hot soup greeted them.


I had fun writing it, and I hope you enjoyed it.



The Ancient Mayan Civilization

My Plans For The Future

A quick story about my plans for the future and some tidbits on the ideas I have on what I want to do with my potential genius.

As a sophomore in high school, it was natural for me to not know what I wanted to do with my future. However, I had friends that knew exactly what they wanted to do when I was in 8th grade. One of my friends (who has since changed her mind) was sure she wanted to go to university in Dublin and become an engineer. As I’m sure you can imagine, this was very stressful for me because I had no idea.

Along comes January of sophomore year, only a short time before junior year, and I was getting frantic. This, of course, was irrational because I had plenty of time. But I was still worried. So I started researching. I took loads of those “What should I major in in college” online tests, and came up with mixed results. One common result was Anthropology.

Knowing that I definitely wanted to live in LA or some other South California city when I was older, and ideally also go to school there, I started looking in that general area. I googled “best anthropology colleges in SoCal”, “best anthropology colleges in LA”, “best anthropology colleges in San Diego” and other variations. Then, I thought that maybe I’d like to take online courses, as my schedule would be much more flexible, and I wouldn’t have to talk to any other people. This would be an ideal factor because I have anxiety. My searches changed to things like “best online schools in SoCal”.

After several hours of researching, and finding nothing that particularly stood out to me, I sort of gave up. Although I was very interested in the Anthropology/sociology route, those kinds of majors are the kind that are important to do in a real classroom with real people.

You are probably expecting me to tell some wow story about how I suddenly found some incredible school and immediately decided on it, but that’s not the case. Instead, a few months after the whole ordeal, I started researching ways to make money online as a teen, or just in general. I came up with an insane amount of results and started taking advantage of some of the suggestions. Blogging was one of those, although I won’t be able to make money from AdSense until I’m 18, I might as well start building my ’empire’ now. I am not in any way saying I am just doing this for the money. I actually love writing a lot, and It’s fun to have a commitment that I am motivated to stick with. I hope to keep doing this for a lot longer and look forward to having this as something to look back on when I am older.

I’m really excited to see what direction I take this blog in, and I hope you are too.


The Ancient Mayan Civilization

English Project: The Secret Goldfish

In my CP English class, we spent the month of January reading The Catcher in The Rye. Over February break my English teacher assigned us a creative writing project. There were other options besides writing (making a short play and performing, making a video, etc.) but the creative writing section stood out immediately. I saw one about halfway down the page that I was really drawn to.

If you’ve ever read The Catcher in The Rye, then you know that Holden’s (the main character) brother D.B. wrote a book called ‘The Secret Goldfish.’ It was filled with short stories. Holden’s favorite story was called ‘The Secret Goldfish.

The writing idea that my teacher had given was to write the story based on Holden’s summary in the beginning of the novel.

“It was about this little kid that wouldn’t let anybody look at his goldfish because he’d bought it with his own money.”

I also decided to write another short story, design a cover page and put it all into one of those essay cover things. However, I will not be sharing those.

Here is the story I wrote:


The Secret Goldfish

Not so long ago, in a small town south of San Diego, there was a little boy who had a pet goldfish. The boy had bought the goldfish on a Saturday afternoon after he got his weekly allowance. Because he had used his own money, the little boy wouldn’t let anyone see his goldfish.


On the Sunday morning after getting his goldfish, the little boy and his family went to church. He put the fish bowl on his closet shelf and shut the closet door, then closed his bedroom door too. He was afraid someone would peek in the window and see his fish.

When he and his family returned from church, he went straight up to his room to check on his goldfish. He watched the fish for an hour, fed the fish, then went downstairs for lunch. His mother made tomato soup and grilled cheese. After eating, the little boy went back to his room and sat watching his goldfish until dinner.


On the Monday after getting his goldfish, the little boy had cereal for breakfast. Then, after making sure his fish was locked in his closet, he went to school. At school he told everyone about his goldfish. He bragged about how pretty it was. Everyone asked if they could see his goldfish but he said no. He bought it with his own money, so nobody else could see it.

When he went home for lunch, he went to his room right away to check on his goldfish. He fed the goldfish, then went downstairs to eat the peanut butter and jelly sandwich his mother had made him. After that, he went back to school. At school, his teacher read a book about a girl who had a pet dog. In the story, the girl lost the dog while playing with it. The boy went straight home after school and made sure his goldfish was packed away in the furthest part of his closet.


On the Tuesday after getting his goldfish, the little boy woke up feeling sick. He stayed in bed all day, with the exception of getting up to go to the bathroom and feed his goldfish. His mother brought him breakfast in bed, lunch in bed, and dinner in bed.

When his father got home from work, he came to the little boy’s room and asked to see the goldfish. He was trying to get the little boy to feel better, but the little boy got angry instead. He shouted at his father to leave his room and ran protectively to his closet door.


On the Wednesday after getting his goldfish, the little boy woke up feeling much better. He was sent off to school with a note to his teacher saying he was going to be dismissed early for a dentist appointment.

After his dentist appointment, the little boy’s mother took him to ice cream. He got chocolate on a cone. When he got home, he fed his fish, then went to the big field at the end of his street to play baseball with his friends.


On the Thursday after getting his goldfish, the little boy woke up late. His mother was sick, and his father had forgotten to wake him up. He had no time to check on his goldfish, or even to have breakfast. The little boy had to run to school, and arrived out of breath.

The little boy didn’t go home for lunch, because his mother was still not feeling well. Instead, he stayed at school with his teacher. She gave him half of her ham and cheese sandwich, and bought him a soda from the vending machine down the hall.

When he finally did go home, he was surprised to see that his cousins had arrived from out of state. He spent the entire afternoon playing with his youngest cousin, who was no more than a year younger than him. The cousin had heard about the little boy’s goldfish, and asked to see it. He said no. He bought it with his own money, so nobody else could see it. The cousin started crying, and ran off to tell his mother that the little boy was being mean. The little boy’s mother demanded that he show his cousin his goldfish. He finally gave in and led the younger boy up to his room. He opened the closet door and reached in to pull out the bowl. The little boy was extremely surprised at what he saw. His goldfish was floating upside down in the water. It was dead. The little boy was devastated. He ran to his mother and asked why his fish died. His mother asked the little boy if he had been feeding his goldfish and he told her that he fed it every day. The poor boy didn’t know that a goldfish must be fed two to three times a day.
On the Friday after getting his goldfish, the little boy asked his father if he could get a new goldfish with his allowance the next day. His father said no, because the little boy couldn’t even keep his first goldfish alive for a week. The little boy cried all day, but by the time Sunday came around, he had forgotten all about a new goldfish and was determined to get a dog.


This was my favorite school project I have ever been assigned. I hope you liked my story, and I hope I got a good grade, as I haven’t checked yet.



The Ancient Mayan Civilization



The Lost art of Conversation

I read somewhere recently that more than 80% of all conversation is about other people. Otherwise known as gossip. 

“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people”

This is a popular saying that has been attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962), but it’s uncertain if she ever actually said it. 

It took me way too long to look that up and fact check it. 

I’ve heard this saying many times, and it never fails to make me think. I mean, It’s true, isn’t it ? 

You take a group of teenage girls for example. They probably talk about boys, other girls, and celebrities. I’m generalizing here for clarity but stick with me. 

A group of millennials, talking about Coachella, or another big music event. 

A group of thirty-something liberal arts majors, talking about the best and worst parts of human nature. 

The difference in outward portrayal of intelligence is so obvious when it is broken down like this. 

Now, an anomaly in this pattern.  

Yesterday I (a teenage girl) and a group of my friends (also teenage girls) had a moderately lengthed conversation about heaven. Assuming heaven is real, how long is the time between one dying and one going to heaven? Is it a split second, or is there a two hour gap? Is there a waiting list for heaven? A waiting room? Once you’re in heaven, do you ever leave? Is overpopulation a problem? Is there only one heaven? Is it possible to die in heaven? These are only a couple of the questions we asked. 

It wasn’t an extremely religious conversation, as far as I know none of us are particularly strong believers, but it went on for a while and it was one of the best conversations I’ve had in a while. 

I know adults who couldn’t have conversations half as good as ours.

Actually, the whole idea of “wise minds discuss ideas” is in the definition of conversation:

Conversation: the informal exchange of ideas by spoken words.

This, of course, is the google definition. However, nearly every dictionary will mention something along those lines. 

“oral exchange of sentiments, observations, opinions, or ideas”-Miriam Webster

“informal interchange of thoughts, information, etc., by spoken words; oral communication between persons; talk; colloquy.” -dictionary.com

“A talk, especially an informal one, between two or more people, in which news and ideas are exchanged.” -Oxford Dictionary 

I often wonder what it would be like if people only had interesting conversations. There are too many people in the world for us to not occasionally talk about people, and there are always events going on. However, ideas are timeless.

If you’re looking for a more simple list of ideas to talk about, here’s one:

  1.  Heaven 
  2. Feminism
  3. Miracles 
  4. Time travel
  5. The need for emotions
  6. Space travel
  7. Telepathy

There are many more, just look it up and about a zillion pages will come up. 

So whats my point? 

I can’t go a day without hearing someone talk about another person, but I can go for over 2 months before hearing someone talk about an idea. 

People are merely scratching the surface of what their brains have to offer, and it’s frustrating seeing (and hearing) people waste their intelligence on Kylie Jenner’s lips. 


Sincerely, The Ancient Mayan Civilization

First blog post

This is the post excerpt.

“This is your very first post. Click the Edit link to modify or delete it, or start a new post. If you like, use this post to tell readers why you started this blog and what you plan to do with it.”

This is (obviously) the beginning template for a first post.

I started this blog because I would like to do productive things with my free time and I would like to have a new creative project to work on as I believe at the moment my creative talent is not being put to its maximum use.

I have no idea what I plan to do with this blog, as one can probably tell by reading the site title.

So far in my life, I have started approximately 3 blogs. Because it’s been a couple years since my last failed attempt, I figured I’d try again.

It’s my starting goal to post at least once a week, probably on Fridays (with the exception of this post). Most articles on “How to Start Your Own Blog” suggest starting by posting about 10 articles spanning over 10 days, then switching over to 1-2 times weekly. I think I’ll pass, as I don’t have quite that amount of creative genius.

As you’ll notice during your time following my blog (which i’m sure won’t be for a long time), I don’t have much self-confidence.

I hope this is acceptable as a first post.

XOXO, Gossip Girl

Actually, I feel like a phony using that sign off because I’ve never actually seen that show. Maybe someday…

Sincerely, The Ancient Mayan Civilization

P.S.  The picture below is the one given in the ‘First Post’ template.